Why Indiana SUCKS, pt. I

Since you are reading this blog, you know why I am driving across country.

So, we leave Milwaukee at 9:30 pm, to avoid Chicago traffic. This part of the plan works great.

We continue traveling, leaving the Land of Lincoln for the Hoosier state. Big mistake.

Never try to make a quick stop in Lafayette, IN, just to gas up and grab a drink. I pull into a gas station/convenience store. The store appears to be closed, but the pumps are on and accepting credit cards. At least I can gas up. While I'm pumping the gas, the clerk emerges from behind (not inside) the store. He smiles at us and then proceeds to smokes a cigarette. As we drive away to the McDonalds next door to get a Coke, he gives us a friendly wave. It is only later that I wonder if he really works there, or has dispatched the real employee, but can't find the keys, thus preventing him from opening the store.

At McDonalds, no one cheerfully greets me at the speaker. Finally, I say, "Hello?". A woman replies, "I'll be with you in a minute."

If only.

When she finally returns to the microphone about an hour later, she asks if she can take my "cash-only order."

"Maybe some other day," I respond as I drive off in a huff. I had cash, but put up a damn sign if you're running the only Luddite McDonalds franchise on the planet.

Up next, part II, wherein I rant about the fucktards who actually run the state.