A MODEST PROPOSAL
All little old ladies shall be searched upon attempted entry to any type of entertainment venue. If they are found to be carrying anything even remotely resembling a plastic bag that might produce an audible rustling sound, they will be taken to a comfy jail cell where they shall be forced to watch their favorite television programs while WHO LET THE DOGS OUT is played full blast over loudspeakers, drowning out the sound, after which they will be asked if they've gotten the point. An affirmative response will result in release with a warning, a negative response will result in further sessions with increasingly abrasive music.
Repeat offenders will be dropped in the East River, their plastic bags tied over their heads.
All little old ladies shall be searched upon attempted entry to any type of entertainment venue. If they are found to be carrying anything even remotely resembling a plastic bag that might produce an audible rustling sound, they will be taken to a comfy jail cell where they shall be forced to watch their favorite television programs while WHO LET THE DOGS OUT is played full blast over loudspeakers, drowning out the sound, after which they will be asked if they've gotten the point. An affirmative response will result in release with a warning, a negative response will result in further sessions with increasingly abrasive music.
Repeat offenders will be dropped in the East River, their plastic bags tied over their heads.
1 Comments:
Who Let the Dogs Out? That's harsh, dude.
It reminds me of an episode of a show called "The Mole." It was actually a pretty cool show. But they locked a guy in a room for several hours and kept playing the song "Tiny Bubbles" over and over again. First they played it normally, then they played it backwards, then fast, then slow...
I'm pretty sure the guy flipped out and will never be able to hear that song again without seriously injuring someone near by.
Still, it may be a fitting punishment for the ridiculous bag-rustlers. I've had similar experiences the last few times that I've gone to the theater. It hardly seems worth it sometimes...
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