Dilbert is a documentary. My experiences here prove it.
Monday, August 11, 2003
Another week, another duhveloper.
This time it's Scour. It wants to create a sequence in an Oracle database. It has looked up the syntax in the book but doesn't know what to do. It won't even try something without asking someone else (in this case, me) to do its work for it. The syntax that was so confusing to it? Create Sequence. That's it.
I don't know about you, but if I wanted to create a sequence and the only syntax I could find was Create Sequence, I'd try, oh I don't know, maybe Create Sequence sequence_name?
This is in a development database. It is supposed to be a place for developers to play and try stuff so they won't bother me. Jeez!
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OK, I started this blog to complain. It's all about my unhappiness.
However, I feel an urge to be honest, and share the good along with the bad.
We are preparing for a major upgrade. Before the upgrade is installed in production, we want to install it in our test environment. Now, if we have to change our application, we compile the code in test and copy the compiled code to production (long story; not my decision). So, the test database is the only place we compile new code. We compile it in test, then test it the test database, and then copy the code to production.
But in preparation for our upgrade, we are going to blow away our test environment and install the upgrade there before the production upgrade. So, no one can compile anything at all once I blow away the test database & install the new version there. This will only be for a few days.
So, one of the duhvelopers is heavily involved in this upgrade. He* is very eager to have me blow away the test environment, just to piss off the other duhvelopers.
I have turned him* to the dark side. I'm so proud!
*See, when you turn to the dark side, you get a less demeaning pronoun!
*********************
What part of I'll email you when it's done. is not clear? Jesus fucking Christ, if it doesn't have an email, the task is not done! Is that so hard to understand?
New rule: Every phone call asking for information already explained to be arriving via a different media (e.g., email), will delay work on requested task for one day. If it is dumb enough to call seven times, it can wait a week.
This time it's Scour. It wants to create a sequence in an Oracle database. It has looked up the syntax in the book but doesn't know what to do. It won't even try something without asking someone else (in this case, me) to do its work for it. The syntax that was so confusing to it? Create Sequence. That's it.
I don't know about you, but if I wanted to create a sequence and the only syntax I could find was Create Sequence, I'd try, oh I don't know, maybe Create Sequence sequence_name?
This is in a development database. It is supposed to be a place for developers to play and try stuff so they won't bother me. Jeez!
*********************
OK, I started this blog to complain. It's all about my unhappiness.
However, I feel an urge to be honest, and share the good along with the bad.
We are preparing for a major upgrade. Before the upgrade is installed in production, we want to install it in our test environment. Now, if we have to change our application, we compile the code in test and copy the compiled code to production (long story; not my decision). So, the test database is the only place we compile new code. We compile it in test, then test it the test database, and then copy the code to production.
But in preparation for our upgrade, we are going to blow away our test environment and install the upgrade there before the production upgrade. So, no one can compile anything at all once I blow away the test database & install the new version there. This will only be for a few days.
So, one of the duhvelopers is heavily involved in this upgrade. He* is very eager to have me blow away the test environment, just to piss off the other duhvelopers.
I have turned him* to the dark side. I'm so proud!
*See, when you turn to the dark side, you get a less demeaning pronoun!
*********************
What part of I'll email you when it's done. is not clear? Jesus fucking Christ, if it doesn't have an email, the task is not done! Is that so hard to understand?
New rule: Every phone call asking for information already explained to be arriving via a different media (e.g., email), will delay work on requested task for one day. If it is dumb enough to call seven times, it can wait a week.
